


A Journey

by EnEss_Caity



Category: Apex Legends (Video Games)
Genre: AU, Blood, Crypto confesses, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, minor mentions of injury, mirage is a caretaker, set ambiguously between seasons 4 and 6
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-26
Updated: 2020-12-30
Packaged: 2021-03-10 19:54:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 13,785
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28332702
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EnEss_Caity/pseuds/EnEss_Caity
Relationships: Crypto | Park Tae Joon/Mirage | Elliott Witt
Comments: 13
Kudos: 57





	1. Serum

It was another morning at the complex: A harsh wake up by the klaxon call on the drop ship; The mediocre-but-hot breakfast provided by MRVNs. Crypto’s head began to clear from his late night just as he sat in the communal dining area. 

He looked at the tray, inspected each item, turned the fruit over. And looked at the safety seal on his water. 

The water bottle had indeed been opened. 

Prepared, not paranoid. 

He checked the entire way through his meal a second time and decided that none of it was worth risking. Damn. The sweet potato hash looked good too. He sighed and pushed the tray an inch or so away, and had already thought of those ration bars he stored in his belongings… better than nothing, he supposed. Soon he heard footsteps. Here came Mirage with his own breakfast ,tray a full bite already in his mouth. He swallowed with a grimace and a cough. Crypto eyed him, worried; if his fuckbuddy choked to death he’d surely be mournful. 

Mirage put his tray down fast and grabbed for Cryptos drink- and in a panic, downed half the bottle. Crypto stood, flew really, to his feet. He took a handful of Mirages shirt as he studied his face. 

“Witt, wait don’t-” he pleaded softly, then he saw Mirages throat bobbing. He swallowed the tampered water with a terrified look in his eyes.

“I’m sorry man, it-it was stuck! I was gonna choke!” Mirage defended himself, sounding fully apologetic. Crypto felt the eyes on them both, making a scene in the common area? That was for idiots, like Octane and well… Mirage. 

Crypto let go of his shirt and swiped the bottle, hurrying to his room, behind him he called out, “be more careful, Witt. ”

In the privacy of his quarters, Crypto almost lost his composure, he felt a hot burning in his eyes, and a cold lighting in his chest. If that water was tampered with, and the meal was provided by The Syndicate, and it was given to Crypto specifically- he could have been poisoned, ingested a neurotoxin, dosed with an allergen. But it was Mirage who drank half the bottle. Please no, he begged to no one in particular. 

He chewed his bottom lip. He waited for Hack to test a sample. He listened out for any noise that could be a handsome engineer collapsing and or dying. Three little beeps sounded off and-

Sodium benzoate.

He scoffed out loud, laughing to himself. He read and re-read the readout. “Commonly thought to be an effective truth serum of sorts. Many users report an ease of their inhibitions when it comes to discussing secrets”

He peeked his head around the door of his quarters, and carefully observed Mirage. He was chatting to Gibraltar and Bloodhound. They both laughed as something he’d said, and his face turned red and his eyes widened- almost as if...

He said something he didn’t intend to. 

Oh no.

* * *

Crypto took his time reading up on the effects of the drug. If they got to their proper target, then the only real danger would be speaking, which he rarely did. He had been only speaking with Loba, for various information trades - almost business like- Lifeline, and Mirage. The last two barely counted as conversation partners, seeing as most of their vocabulary was just repetitive “yes,”-es escorted by moans. The syndicate must assuredly be spying on those three. He could assume from there they were expecting some sort of confession? Or enough sound bites to create a fake one…

They didn’t know him that well. Neither of the other legends, physical relationship or not- knew his real name. And he was almost certain Mirage didn't even know his fake name. He breathed a sigh of relief. The dosing seemed ill informed and sloppy, part of him was convinced the Syndicate was getting desperate, or better, threatened by him. Maybe he’s closer to answers than he thought? 

He plugged into his computer. Within the next hour he’d already backtracked the footage at the complex, found the agent responsible for the attempted dosing, and put a tail on him for a later date. He folded his hands against his head, and sighed out loud, stretching his shoulders. He supposed he’d had to sit and wait for the next opportunity to pay them a visit. 

“What the hell is wrong with them?” He heard Bangalore stomping angrily into the main cabin. “Im down there training, in the right time slot and everything. Next thing i know im shipped back here and told to get ready for the game today??” By this time all the legends aboard the ship were now clustering together in the common space.

“There… is no game today? Right?” Gibraltar questioned, “Drop time is tomorrow?” The room is half nodding, half running for their contracts.

“Thank god no one else remembered either…” Mirage sounds off. “Hate when I forget stuff.” He nodded to the entire roster before him. 

Crypto turned to his computer and pulled up the Syndicate broadcast - now displaying a pre-game show, over-enthusiastic announcers all bickering over the Legends chances. He called out to the room “Look at this.” He ignored the incredulous looks from Legends who had probably never heard his voice outside of the arena. The entire cabin turned to look at his monitor. 

The countdown in the corner displayed that First Drop is just under 30 minutes.


	2. Intrusive

So this was their plan. Influence Crypto’s inhibitions and get him on broadcast...

The entire crowd dispersed except for Octane and Mirage, the two with the shortest walks to their quarters. 

“Man I was gonna do stuff today.” Octane said folding his arms, “I bet its that old dude commissioner.”

“He sucks, just wish he wasn’t so hot.” Mirage said seriously nodding, still looking at the broadcast. Octane laughed at him heartily and Mirage looked at the ground in disbelief at what he just admitted. 

Crypto’s face lit up red. Oh no. Mirage was going to be live soon. To the entire outlands. He had at least 4 hours until the symptoms would pass. He was going to say something about their meet ups. 

“Hey. Old man.” Crypto whispered, he gestured for Mirage to come closer. 

Mirage whispered back, “What?” He mouthed the word ‘sex?’, and continued out loud, “Right now!? You horn dog.”

Crypto rolled his eyes hard. “Just get in here.”

He obeyed, swaying his hips in his usual saunter. “What’s good, kid?” He said once he’d leaned a shoulder against the wall. His huge smile on display. Crypto ignored it, clenching his jaw. He also ignored how Mirage muttered “handsome” under his breath.

“You’ve been drugged.” He warned in a serious voice. 

After a very long silent moment, Mirage replied with “Did you do it? Cause it’s not working- I’m still alive. You’re not very good at poisoning someone, Crypto.” 

“I think  _ they _ did it. It’s a truth serum.” 

“Every time you say ‘they’ like that I want to punch you” Mirage said, as if it were an afterthought. 

“Looks to me like it is working.” Crypto said tersely, narrowing his eyes.

“Oh god why me?” Mirage whined in a childish voice. It made Crypto chuckle. “Cute laugh...” Another afterthought. 

“It was meant for me. Mirage, I’m afraid you’ll say something about us out there. About me.”

“Oh no…. the game! I already forgot. How did I forget?! My memory scares me sometimes. Cause my m-mom started forgetting stuff at like thirty-” He stopped short annoyed. “OH NO.” He yelped. “I can’t stop!”

“You can. You just have to not be so… willing to share.” Crypto posited, as if it were that simple. 

Mirage shook his head, eyes wide, “what the hell do you mean?? I’m Public Domain, babey. On camera I’m expected to be a carefree playboy and shit” Mirage buried his face in his hands. “I can’t just start clamming up now!”

Crypto wanted to laugh again, instead he put a hand on Mirages shoulder and looked him right in the eye, “Mirage. The drug works best when someone is asked leading questions. It’s never been able to make someone confess something they didn’t want to say.” 

“Okay… okay I can work with that. I think.” He nodded to himself, stoked his beard. “Yeah! Yeah I definitely don’t want to whatever-like- talk about my mom while getting shot in the face. Y-y’know?” 

“Mirage.” Crypto said, curious and careful. “You’re bringing her up a lot...” he didn’t notice that he reached for his hand, assuming the worst. 

“I-I - I am gonna go! I’m running away, bye.” He stumbled, physically and mentally backwards and into his quarters. He began to get ready for the game. Crypto did the same. 

Fastening his various belts and stringing Hacks extra wiring around himself, slipping on his coat. Sneaking a few extra (illegal) weapons into his pockets. And his flask. God knows he might need it today. 

He looked over to Mirage. He watched him pull his familiar yellow jumpsuit on over that silky compression gear. Then pulled it off again. He selected a totally new set of clothes. Green, thick, leather, high-collared jacket. Adorned with a chain. He didn’t mean to stare so long. But he did. He watched Mirage dress, and mumble to himself. Did he always talk so freely? Or only when it would be imperative to shut his mouth?

He fussed with himself in the mirror for an excessive amount of time; his hair, beard, teeth, eyes, and then the outfit again. He repeated this process several times. His nerves were shot. Maybe it was a mistake to mention the serum…

Crypto stood and walked over to the tricksters room. He slipped by most of the eyes watching him, still aware of the ones bothering to stay on him. He cleared his throat and Mirage whirled around. 

“Mirage, you need to relax.” 

“Oh no- I thought I was relaxing.” He said, panicky. 

“Listen.” Crypto thought about his research, assuming that he could use the power of suggestion to coach Mirage back down from the anxiety. “You’re going to be fine.” He said serious and measured. “You’re smart, you’ve gotten this far. Just focus on your next steps.” Crypto’s face grew hot, and he wasn’t sure why. “You’ll get through this..” And with that speech over with he nodded sternly. He locked mirages eyes, willing the man to steel his nerves.

“Wow. Really wanna kiss you.” Mirage said with his brows knit. He winced at his own statement as soon as it registered.

“Mirage...” Crypto said exasperated. “We need a plan, we have to ignore each other. I’ll scope with my drone- If I see you, I’ll avoid your squad. If you hear me, run. Got it?” 

“Y-yeah. Seems easy en-enough!” He nodded, hope bubbling over his features. “I got this! We got this!” He clapped crypto on the shoulder and let out a snort. “Only way to ruin the plan is if we were put on the same team!” 

Just then the dropships alarm blared and… 

“Damnit, Mirage.” Crypto stared at the wall display flashing a hacker, a trickster, and a medic.

———

While the platform was lowering, Crypto stood as far away from Mirage as possible. Lifeline was between them stretching her shoulders in an effortless display of confidence. He smiled at her. She winked at him. “Old times, ey, C?” She giggled. 

“Yeah.” He said hopefully. 

“Ready, Ell?” She called over her shoulder to him, “Cause I’m takin’ us straight to the action!” She pointed down to Sorting Factory. 

“No.” He said nodding, “Let’s go!” 

She only crinkled her nose at his mixed messages and took a swandive off the platform. The boys followed, Mirage found a second to blow a kiss to the camera as he let himself fall backwards into the clouds. Crypto stepped off rolling his eyes and smiling to himself at the two. The Game was on, and so was Mirage- maybe he had some hope. 

Aside from asking for more loot than usual, Mirage seemed to be keeping those intrusive thoughts from escaping. Though it seemed like they just filtered into compliments to his teammates. A congrats on a care package from Lifeline, a thanks for Cryptos warning of another team in the area. Crypto finally let himself focus more on the game, which was excellent timing, because they met a squad quickly after they grabbed the best loot from the drop, and laid waste to them entirely. 

“Is it wrong to love the smell of gunpowder?” Mirage boasted after the last death box landed with a thud. He found a camera to wink at. Crypto tried to hide the smirk on his lips, but he did feel his gaze. “Cute.” Mirage whispered. Out of pure survival instinct, Crypto didn’t look over at him at all. Just adjusted the new gun charm he stole from a body. He hurried to cover to get into Hacks view. 

“Anyone tailin’ us, C?” Lifeline said crouched near the man, covering his left side from possible gunfire. 

“Looks like Train Yard is too dangerous. Let’s go around.” He warned. 

“More like GRAVE Yard!” Mirage said through their comms, “uh… um that was bad - l-let’s go.” 

He started moving before the trickster could fumble a recovery joke. He seemed looser overall, at least from Cryptos perspective. And loose was good for all of them when it came to fighting. Mirage became the kill leader after finding two more squads, he barely needed D.O.C., and he had even picked Crypto up faster than Lifeline could. Of course he made a comment while he did it. ‘Handsome’ he’d said for the second time that day. Crypto pushed down the flutters in his chest hearing the open praise. Especially because he didn’t agree, but that was a crisis for another day. 

Fourth ring hit and they were lucky to be safely inside it, and the next ring too. Having enough loot and not looking to press their luck they stowed away inside a small housing building between Fragment and Oasis. 

Crypto entered drone mode and staked the entrance to a cave, while lifeline pulled a Kraber out of a care package. He heard her hoot in delight and he laughed with her. He heard Mirages voice next to him in the small room, “so cute…” 

Crypto against his better judgment and instincts mumbled, “She is.” As he retreated from his drone mode. 

“Actually I was talking about you, kid.” Mirage said quietly, thoughtfully from his spot in the opposite corner. 

“Mirage?” He dared ask, voice dropping low. “You’ve been saying things all day. Things like that.”

“I can’t really help it.” His head was leaning against the wall, he turned to look at his squadmate.

He balled his fists up, he wanted to stop talking but… he was more curious than scared. “Elliott… I…”

“Love hearing you say my name.” His voice turned sultry with that. 

“Stop. It.” Crypto commanded through grit teeth. 

“I’m sorry- I can’t, man! They just come out before I can realize I’m saying them. I’ve been trying all day to keep stuff to myself but it’s, like, really hard!” 

Crypto thought himself as a smart person. Someone with survival skills. But today he pressed his luck, just to be selfish. Just to hear more from Mirage; his unfiltered opinions, those intrusive thoughts. 

“You called me handsome.” Crypto whispered. 

“Cause you are. Like...  **_super_ ** cute.” Mirage said almost annoyed, like he was sure the hacker already knew this about himself and to be saying it out loud was a prank. “I wanna kiss you, stupid… grumpy computer... guy.” Mirage grasped at adjectives as he folded his arms over his chest.

Crypto didn’t know what to say. It was being proven over and over again that this man was so much more open than he ever could be. He felt jealous, almost wishing he’d drank the water. He’d need chemical help to get the bundle of complex feelings to crawl out of his throat. The way they spilled from Mirage was a blessed curse, or a cursed blessing. 

“Sometimes I wonder what I’m doing when we hook up. Cause I’m more of a ‘forever’ kinda guy. Pictured you in a tuxedo more times than I care to count.” Mirage’s whispers were hurried and said with a chuckle- he knew it was too much. “It’s hard not to jump to that idea. But y’know I know it won’t work out like that, haha. Can’t exactly write ‘Crypto’ on a wedding cake. God... what the fuck am I saying.” He sounded distant. But distinctly not embarrassed. 

“You. Want to ….” Crypto literally could not bring himself to say ‘marry’, “me?” He said, terrified. 

“Oh calm down, dork. It’s not like I’m writing your name in my math notebook… I just have like… goals for the future. I wanna be a husband to  _ someone _ .... My brain tries to fit you into them cause…” he paused to rub his face roughly in his gloved hand “probably cause you’re the closest thing to a relationship I have? Isn't that so pathetic?” 

He winced when he heard Lifelines footsteps on the roof. She was preoccupied with scoping the perimeter and likely didn’t hear this exchange, but it made Crypto snap out of whatever spell he fell into in that moment. He was in some mild shock, not being able to stay in this moment nor able to focus on the Game. 

“I know I’m saying too much. I know. I’m sorry.” He stood up and peered out the windows, squinting into the distance. “Just what rattles around up in here I guess.” He softly knocked the stock of his rifle to the side of this head. The way he looked at Crypto was too much, a full apology just from his sad eyes. 

“Let’s just… talk later.” Crypto said in a whisper, ducking into his drone. 

The last remaining squad walked right into Lifeline’s Kraber, and she jumped into Mirage’s arms in celebration. She also wrangled Crypto into a hug with her arm around his neck. Mirage praised her heartily, to the point where even Lifeline blushed. 

They escaped the press soon after the Standard Victory shot. And Mirage, without much coaching pulled himself away from the spotlight. Crypto didn’t see him for the rest of the day. And when night came and he still hadn’t heard an invite to the bar, or cheering laughter from the main cabin. Crypto worried. 

He worried himself sick while trying to sleep. He’d gotten used to relying on the trickster in that regard too. A comfortable night's sleep. Instead he stood from his cold and empty bed and crossed the room to his desk.

The hacker scoured the footage from the game. Listened to the audio closely. The Syndicate seems to have failed their little plan- or more likely, they pulled back on it once they'd missed their target. He’d found that there was not enough clear recordings of what Mirage had said in that shack. 

It was a secret, just for Crypto. 

He stewed on the fact that they’d even tried to make this move on him. They were sloppy but suspicious of him and that didn’t sit right. He stood, and dressed himself in black. He had a tail to check up on. 


	3. Confined

“Always kill the messenger.” He whispered to himself, slipping out of the back stairwell of a pretentious high rise. The agent who attempted the dosing this morning would likely be found by neighbors in a day or so. Clean, fast. In and out. Crypto tried to keep his hands from shaking as he made his way home. He was having trouble remembering how he used to relax before Mirage. 

He was close to that trickster's temporary housing. This part of the city was dead quiet too. Maybe he would listen to the adrenaline coursing through his veins and pay him a visit. 

He reached the front door of the complex and made it a few steps but his vision began to fade. He heard himself crumple to his knees in a hallway somewhere. Crypto tried to keep moving, thoughts not connecting to one another. 

* * *

He woke up on a cold tile floor. He recognized this place it … it was… damn. Where was it? 

“<<what is this?>>” he mumble to himself, attempting to prop himself up. There was a shock of pain that w from his side. When he looked there, he found red stained bandages. “<<I’m hurt?>>” he tested the wound by applying some pressure. The heat from the wound was noticeable, and the pain was there but not as bad as he thought it would be. 

“Hey hey lay down. Please!” A worried voice almost yelled, bouncing off the stark white walls. “Cmon Hyeon- you’re gonna open the-the goddamn thing.” 

The hand on his shoulders were light and warm and not unfamiliar. Crypto tried to look at the figure, the face was not unfamiliar too. “<<who’s Hyeon?>>” Crypto mumbled, struggling against… him. Who was this person again? It was on the tip of his tongue…

He felt the vague weightlessness of being lifted, he clung around the broad shoulders of this insistent person. There was a nest of soft bedding around him then and the room felt quieter, safer. Though... Maybe that was the warm hands holding onto his.

The next time he woke up, Crypto understood his surroundings a little better. The bathroom was familiar because it was Elliott’s. Oh. Elliott’s. He allowed himself to groan, causing the figure propped against the side of the tub to stir. Crypto looked around at the mess of linens and cushions surrounding him, perfectly cradling him. 

“Please don’t fight me, Cryppy. I’m so tired” Elliott whined. He turned while rubbing his entire face. He looked desperate for a night's sleep. 

“What happened. Why am I hurt?” Crypto croaked through his dry throat. 

“Oh thank the stars- you’re back to English!” Elliott chuckled, “You’ve been here two days just going off.” He smiled tiredly, “I don’t know what happened. You showed up in my hallway, collapsed and bleeding.”

“Elliott I’m sorry.” He said, concentrating hard on what could have come before that. 

“Y’know I got worried, Hyeon. Who stabbed you??” 

Stabbed? That brought a vision of the glint of a knife, wielded by… that dead agent. He’d been hurt in that brief struggle? But he felt… not _fine_ but… Come to think about it, the walk home from the job was hazy at its most memorable parts. 

“I didn’t mean to come here.” Crypto let his head hit the pillow behind him. 

“Well I’m glad you did.” Elliott spoke up, frustrated. He’d never been genuinely angry with Crypto, it made his heart ache. “I don’t know much about you but I thought taking you to a hospital would be too ‘on the radar’.”

“Thank you. For not taking me somewhere.” Crypto was shocked at the logic Elliott had used. “Did… Ajay do…” he gestured to his side. Which was unclothed. Oh he was only in his boxers beneath these sheets...

“No. I didn’t know what happened and she asks questions… so you got a DIY job from me.” Elliott’s annoyance was melting away with each answer. As was Crypto’s panic. He’d really forced Elliott to take care of him by landing his unconscious body on his doorstep. 

“I’m sorry. I’m… just sorry.” 

Elliott quickly turned to face the hacker, leaning over the side of the tub. “You should be!! I was fucking freaked out, man! This isn’t Solace- there are cops out there. You need to be more careful!” Elliott sounded like he could be on the verge of tears, but the well was dry- his voice simply cracked and squeaked at the emotions he slipped out. He was right but… 

“I’m always careful.” Crypto looked away. Looked at anything that wasn’t the fevered and worried face of the trickster.

“You should really change that to ‘almost always’ Kid. I’ve got the bloody gauze in the trash to prove it.”

Crypto shot him a look of concern, and guilt.

“Relax, I was a good secret spy and burned all the DNA stuff.” False annoyance touched his words, and dripped away. Now he just looked sad. 

“Thank you. I’m sorry. I don’t deserve the treatment you’ve given me.” He tried to soothe with his words, in reality we wanted to pull the man into this cocoon of bedding and hold him tight to his chest. He’d never felt so safe while recovering like this. There had been a dozen of botched missions where he crawled away and sat in some shack in the slums of Gaia praying for mercy as he healed up. Especially after his modifications. The neurolink was a tough time. 

“... whatever.” Elliott muttered as he turned and stood. He returned with a glass of water and some pills. “Don’t make me force these down your throat again.” 

“ ‘Force’ me…?” crypto looked closely at the code stamped into the pills and allowed his HUD to check what they were. Some sort of antibiotics to prevent infection mixed with high strength pain reduction. “These are prescription?” he looked up at Elliott and the face that looked back was dangerously handsome when it was marked with concern. “How did you-“

“What? I can do research too.” He pouted, “looked like… uh when I had a run in. Little while ago, some people got rowdy at the bar. Pulled a knife. I had these leftover and connected the dots.” Shaking his head he walked further away, and leaned against the far wall, near the door. He crossed his arms, and just watched. Crypto took the drugs, trusting someone else like this was terrifying, but it was Elliott. 

He looked Elliott over. Noting many things. His hair was a mess, all frayed at parts, while other places were matted with sweat. His beard had grown a little long. And far less smooth than usual. His eyes were circled with purple and he looked like he’d been biting the same section of bottom lip for days. 

“What?” He asked, brows pulled down. 

Crypto was taken aback, he was grateful, but the short tone of his caretaker struck a nerve “Thank you.” He responded just as coldly. Elliot shoved himself off his post and made his way for the door, silently leaving Crypto alone. 

The comfort he’d felt before drained from the room with the slamming of the door. Now the nest below him was swallowing him too too tightly, the cold air poured over the goosebumps on his chest. He needed clothes and to get out. He carefully lifted himself inch by inch until he sat up, next he groaned as he placed himself on the lip of the tub. Trying to lift his leg on the wounded side made him yelp. Tears stung his eyes. And the door flung open. 

“What the hell are you doing?? What don’t you understand about ‘you’re fucking hurt’?” Elliott rushed over to sweep him into his arms and lifting him easily.

“Get off! I’ll do it myself. I have to get out of here — augh!” He tried to fight back and only succeeded in getting a burst of searing pain. He whimpered pathetically and inadvertently clung closer to Elliott. He didn’t stop him, either. 

“Just stop. STOP.” Elliott raised his voice and held him tightly. Crypto froze all over, just now noticing that even Elliott’s patience could run dry. “Hyeon. I swear to god if you don’t lay down and stop moving. What is your big fucking hurry?”

“I’m burdening you.” He said. Honesty came easier than lying in this moment, “you’ve done too much for me. I should go… if the wrong people found out you helped me outside the games, you’ll be in danger.”

Elliott sneered and groaned loudly, he turned back to the tub and descended to place Crypto back in his makeshift bed. “In case it slipped your mind: I can take care of myself. I, for one, actually got into the games on my kick-ass ass kicking skills.” He was good and mad now, but the gentle way he touched the bandages betrayed that. He peeled the gauze up to take a look and rolled his eyes, “at least your cut can follow my instructions to get better.” He huffed. 

Crypto’s eyes suddenly stung with tears. Why in the world did this man worrying about him feel like the most intimate act of his life? He turned his head away to bury it in the pillow. He allowed his face to contort as he let out a few sobs. He had no strength to hold back, he could only let himself shake through the flood. 

“Hyeon! oh fuck! Did that hurt?? Hey- HEY! Breathe. Breathe…” Eliiotts hands were on both of his cheeks and he opened his eyes to see this poor man in front of him. He’s sacrificed his grooming patterns, his sleep, his own house. Just for Crypto. He’d gathered a bit more composure and clenched his eyes shut.

“Elliott…” he whispered.

“Don’t… don’t cry.” He combed Cryptos hair back and softly thumbed along his cheekbone. 

“I don’t mean to make you do this. I… don’t have anyone.” 

“Oh and I suppose _this_ is the part of the RomCom where i say ‘you have me, baby.’” Elliott chuckled, “eh that scene is overdone.” He rested his chin on the arm he had on top of the tub lip. He still stroked Crypto’s cheek, “but here I am, anyway.” He said, tired.

Crypto leaned into his warm palm. He must have looked so pathetic because even Elliott laughed at him.

“God you’re like a cat.” Crypto’s eyes flew open and he glared at the trickster. “Haha WHAT? A few seconds ago you were putting up such a fight and now you’re like literally purring.” 

“I’m not _literally_ purring…” Crypto rolled his eyes but didn’t pull away.

“Okay kid.You’re not strong enough to go home and heal up alone. You can stay here. Decision time. Do you wanna do that the old fashioned way, or can I please call Ajay?” 

Crypto felt his face fall at the idea of calling more help, more witnesses. He didn’t say anything. He just needed more information. He checked the wound on his side. Looked sterile, and cleaned. He saw it coated in something shiny and he looked to Elliott for an explanation. 

“What, you’re too good for superglue?” His voice was a perfect mix of defensive and derision.

“No it’s… nothing i haven’t had to do before.” The hacker answered honestly. “Clever.” 

“If it’s all the same I think the wound wasn’t as bad as the blood loss. I’m serious it was disturbing.”

“That explains the blackout.” 

“What the fuck happened, Hyeon?”

“Don’t worry… about…” he stopped when Elliots face changed to anger. 

“What. Happened.” He said short and tense. It was not a question, just a demand. He felt a guilt in his chest that was powerful.

“I went…” he started and stopped, “If there was someone out there who attempted to drug a Legend… there isn’t. Anymore. Let's leave it at that.” 

“Hyeon…” Elliott pulled away. “Who are you? What are you?” 

Crypto froze. “I’m trying to survive. Witt. It’s nothing worse than what they’ve done to me.” He calculated 12 ways of getting out of this room if Mirage decided to rat him out, all of which were risky at best with his side in its current state. 

“Hyeon.” Elliott shook his head, “God, do I have bad taste in men, huh?”

That was the last response he’d expected. He looked at Elliott in disbelief, letting his silence ask for more details. 

“What? I used to date a hitman. Well. ‘Date’ as in we would throw each other around the bedroom. In a sex way not...a … anyway.” He mumbled something under his breath about oversharing.

“Elliott, that was not supposed to be a bonding point.” Crypto gathered his thoughts from the curve of this conversation, “I’m not… sure what…” he just let that thought end while the trickster settled against the tub again, “I’m wanted. I’m not safe to be around. Being a Legend grants me some security, they can’t kill me without consequences anymore.” 

“Alright if I hear you say ‘They’ one more time I’m gonna lose it. Namedrop or stop being so dramatic.” Elliott rolled his eyes, and poked fun. 

“...No.” Crypto finally came to his senses and stopped himself from going further. How had he let so much spill out already? This was not good. “Forget it. Forget everything.” 

“What? Why??” Elliot looked betrayed and surprised, “We were getting somewhere, Hyeon!” 

“No. No, we weren’t.” He tried to lift himself up out of the tub once more, being careful. 

“This again? Just- please, lay down.” Elliott simply watched him struggle, he cried out and fell back down. “You honestly can’t be thinking I’m letting you walk out of here?” 

Crypto went entirely cold, his eyes shot to meet Mirage’s, he shrunk away from the man, “You’re working for them.” He concluded, voice struggling to stay steady. “If you try to kill me I’ll take you with me.” 

“Hyeon?” Mirage sounded hurt but he must just be a better actor than crypto thought. He’d slipped so far down the rabbit hole of getting close to someone. He was weak, he was stupid, he was so desperate he nearly played right into their game. 

“Of course you’re with them. Of course.” He tried to move out of the tangle of blankets but it was more important to watch the man in front of him for movement, “I got sloppy, I should have never let you get so close. <<fuck>>.” He felt a shock of pain come from his side, but he was locked on Mirage. Not wavering, only observing. 

He watched the legends face fall, from annoyance to pity, to… pure sorrow. “Hyeon, I’m not working for anyone.” He backed away from the tub, shuffled on his knees to give the man some space. “I’m just trying to help you.” 

“Shut up.” He spat, “I don’t believe you.” More maneuvering and he managed to swing his legs over the edge of the tub. Probably the adrenaline coursing through his veins. He was all flight or flight now. “Let me go. I don’t want to kill you.” 

Mirage winced at those words, “Hyeon… I am not. I would n-never hur-hurt you. Look at me.” A useless demand, Crypto had him trained in his sights. “I didn’t mean what you think I said-mean- meant” he hiccuped across the end of his thoughts, his throat bobbed with heavy swallows of air. “I meant you- you- that I wasn’t gonna let you recover alone.” He blinked his tears away. “I wanna help you. I don’t know what to say to convint-cof-vis- AUGHH” he angrily groaned, his impediment getting worse with each passing word, “I’m really try-rying to calm you down right n-n-now but I can’but fffffucking find the words, Hyeon. PLEASE. You’re blo-bu-bleeding” 

He’s right, he was. His wound stung. His heart ached. Seeing Elliott come undone made him falter. He stopped lobbing accusations at him and instead sat in a cold frozen panic. Elliott had backed himself away to the corner of the room, one leg extended forward the other bent. He hugged that knee and avoided Crypto’s gaze. 

“I don’t want to say the wrong thing.” He whispered. “What I meant was... don’t try to leave or hurt yourself, please.” 

The heavy silence settled down over the room, and Crypto’s initial panic began to fade. He’d known mirage for about a year, and Elliott about a month and a half. He’d never seemed capable of double agency before. But the Syndicate was everywhere… especially the empty pockets of poor bartenders-turned-bloodsport-competitors. Okay maybe that was specific. But there were literally tens of thousands of people employed but them. Crypto had hacked their payroll enough times to gather that, siphoning pennies from each for an easy money score. He thought if he’d ever seen The Witt name on the stubs he tampered with. 

“Fine… don’t trust me, I don’t care.” Elliott’s voice was pure anger, embarrassment, poison. “I won’t call Ajay. Please just heal up. And leave.” With That the trickster stood and excited the bathroom. 

Exhaustion pulsed in Crypto’s chest eventually and he had no say in how fast he fell asleep. He dreamed of the Arena. And of Elliott.


	4. Coming Clean

The next few days were a blur, Elliott brought him his pain meds and water every 4 hours on the dot, never looking him in the eyes. Never speaking. The 7th visit, Crypto finally deduced it was a decoy. Only after grabbing its wrist to say an apology, just to feel no heat or pulse. He still took the medication, it helped immensely. He successfully got himself in and out of his sickbed to use the toilet, minor grooming; Elliott had a toothbrush set out for him. 

Any meal he had was also delivered via decoy, and all was prepackaged and untouched. 

He could hear when the trickster would shuffle by the bathroom door, or hear the holovision, or the music he blasted while working on his tech. 

Crypto’s guilt was immeasurable. 

On the fourth day, he’d felt stable enough to walk around the room. Unsteady legs shivered slightly and he tried to get some sort of stretch into them. He was stir crazy from sitting in the plush bedding in the tub. He tired himself out quickly and decided to sit on the lip of the basin while weighing out his options. He was told to leave when he could walk. And well… it’d be an unpleasant trip home, but one he could make now. Thanks to Elliott. 

He stood and looked at himself in the mirror. Disgusting. His eyes were heavy, and the color in his face was drained. His skin looked splotchy at best, and his hair was a greasy mess of spikes. He didn’t smell the freshest either. 

Without a thought he cleared the cushions and blankets from the tub and turned the water on. Hot and perfect. This was far from the first time he’d showered here, he even had a favorite of Elliott’s many shampoos. He used it liberally and it soothed his senses as much as it irritated his guilt. Smelling that smell, bringing the man to the front of his mind. He scoffed at himself, letting it all wash out. 

Remembering he only had a pair of boxers to his name, he groaned and slowly re-dressed his wound. He found a towel and dried himself off. He wrapped it around his waist and walked slowly to the door. 

Part of him assumed it would be locked for some reason, but it wasn’t. He walked through the threshold and the cold air of the apartment clapped him in the chest. He shivered and walked to Elliott’s room.

He found Elliott on his bed, asleep while fully dressed. He was always so at peace while sleeping, he looked older and more distinguished. Crypto swallowed loudly and staggered to the edge of the mattress. He sat slowly down and reached for Elliott’s hand, holding it he felt the rough skin of a hard-working man. 

Elliott stirred then, he moaned a little in his stupor. “Mhmmh. Hyeon?” Gravely sleep clung to his voice. 

“Yeah.” He answered. 

Elliott ripped his hand away and bounced to the far side of the bed. Crypto recoiled, and looked at Elliott in the most pathetic way. 

“Thought you didn’t trust me, _Crypto_.” He said coldly. 

“I… am sorry.” He responded quietly. His fist coiled tight, maybe to savor the feeling of calloused skin and warmth. “I haven’t… had someone on my side in years.” 

“Oh _nooo_ , I get it.” Elliott said fast and angry. “Now you’re sorry! After you aren’t totally helpless.” He stood up and leaned against the windowsill, “but you still don’t trust me.” 

“I don’t trust anyone.” He defended 

“Oh great! Yeah, I for one _love_ weeks of casual hookups with someone who doesn’t trust anyone.” He spat, fingers gripping the underside of the sill. Crypto expected it to snap off in his hands. Still, he wasn’t afraid of Elliott. 

“That’s… not…” Crypto started. “I wasn’t thinking straight when I accused you of working for them. I’m sorry.”

“You threatened to kill me.” 

That shut his entire brain down. No defense, no offense. He just stopped and watched as Elliott turned his head away allowing his curls to obstruct his face, “damnit…” he muttered. Crypto watched a tear fall from his face.

“I’m sorry.”

“You keep fucking saying that.” Elliott said, struggling to get himself together. 

Crypto turned away from him entirely, he stood and walked out of the bedroom. He made his way to Elliott’s workshop, and found his laptop. Crypto opened a browser and typed in a simple query, a specific one. News articles poured in and he ignored all of the photos attached. He just picked up the computer and made his way back to Elliott. 

He tossed the computer on the bed, and stood silently. Elliott looked from the device to the man, he scoffed and reached for it, opening the lid. He read the screens’ contents, mouthing along silently. Crypto almost lost his composure when he saw those lips form a quiet “Mila Alexander”. Instead he dug his nails into the meat of his own bicep, breaking now would not be very useful.

Elliott looked at the screen, long after having finished the 3rd article. He looked up to Crypto, and back down. Several times. 

“You need to… I want you to know the truth. I didn’t do it. I was framed.”

He only imagined what was flying through his brain, crypto is a killer, crypto is on the run, he should turn him in, and so on and so forth. Elliott stood up to his full height, he closed the laptop. 

“Park Tae Joon?” 

The last thing he expected to hear was his name. He looked at Elliott and let the shock ebb from his face. 

“What? did I say it wrong?” He bit his lip. “Park? Tae… TaeJoon? Did I already forget it?” Elliott muttered that last part. 

“You said it right…” 

“Oh. First try!” He smiled weakly, “sounds.. nice.” 

“Witt don’t you think there’s something more important in there?” 

“What?” He said genuinely, reaching back for the laptop, “The obvious set-up job?” He shook his head hard, “oh fuck of course- I’m sorry for your loss, man.” 

Crypto didn’t understand. For once he didn’t comprehend. Elliott watched him carefully from the other side of the bed. 

“You don’t believe the… the… All the reports? The Syndicate?” Crypto was shaking head to toe. 

“No… it’s, like I said, crazy obvious.” Elliott was talking like it was so matter of fact. “The only thing my old man taught me that mattered, it’s corrupt as shit on Gaia. And Talos... hell- everywhere.” He crossed his arms. It sort of hit him then, all of the horrible accusations he thought he’d be hearing by now were not going to come. “Oh.” Elliott ran to the hacker. “Oh fuck, no no don’t-“ 

He only knew he was crying when Elliott wiped a tear off of his nose. 

“I’m trying to tell you I believe it wasn’t you.” Elliott whispered into his mop of wet hair, “I know about the syndicate, seen them fuck over I’ve enough of my friends- most of them came to Solace to escape. None of em survived, not like you.” 

As he said those words Cryptos arms shot out and wrapped around the trickster so tightly his side ached. He’d never been told those words. Not out loud. His legs began to fail him. He slid down Elliott’s body until he was kneeling in front of him, openly but silently sobbing. Elliott whispered things into his ear as they sat on the bedroom floor together, things like “I’m sorry.” “You must have been so scared” “I know what it’s like to miss your siblings”. His lungs failed to take in the breaths he needed. And Elliott coached him through that too. 

He seemed like such a natural caregiver. Crypto had been being held for hours, as far as he could tell. And for what? Like he deserved this? For endangering Elliott’s life. For telling him secrets that could be pulled from him in the worst possible ways. Or worse, in easy ways, with money or booze. He tried not to invent reasons to distrust Elliott. He’d proven himself again and again to be a saving grace. As the hacker tried to right the ship of his mind, he shook his head. Elliott pulled away, and smiled warmly to him.

“Thought you dozed off.” He said, nearing sleep himself.

“No I’m…” Crypto started to try and explain the state of his mind, and decided it wouldn’t be any easier outside of his skull than it was inside. “I’m cold. Can I borrow clothes?” 

“Uh y-yeah one sec…” Elliot tried to separate from how they were seated, but it seems they’d tangled their legs together. “My legs asleep…” he crawled to the edge of the mattress and hobbled towards a wardrobe. Inside was the loudest collection of garments Crypto had ever seen. He actually chuckled at the sight of the colorful spread. “Hey! don’t laugh! we can’t all just wear spy gear and call it a day.” 

“You… look way smaller without your coat.” Elliott thought out loud, sizing him up. It would have been irritating being studied like that. But not anymore he supposed. Eventually he tossed him a shirt that had seen better days. A promotional shirt from the early days of The Games. In bold text and faded color, The Thunderdome was spread across his chest. Elliott passed him some sweatpants too. He slipped them on and only realized how cold he really was. He shivered all over, winced at the wound on his side. He checked it and saw there was no new openings despite the odd pose he’d just been in. He thanked Elliott. 

“No problem.” He said sleepy, “what-where are you going?” 

“I’m tired.” Crypto explained as he was walking out of the room. 

“Park I think you’ve graduated to a big boy bed.” 

His face turned red at his real name. And at the implication to take Elliott’s bed. 

“Uh… y-you...” he turned and looked to the trickster. “Where will you…?” 

“Um. With you?” He said like it was obvious. 

“Witt I don’t… if you don’t… if you don’t feel comfortable-” 

“Shut up, you’ve been _inside_ me.” He said with a snort. “We can share the bed. It’s huge, thank you very much.” 

“God Witt.” Crypto groaned. “No- what I mean is… I’m sorry. Not trusting you even after everything.” He clenched his eyes shut. “And now you’re…”

“Park.” Elliott closed in on him,stopped just short of touching “You told me the truth. We both cried over it. You’ve apologized a million times.” He awkwardly found a place for his hands on cryptos' sides, not on his hips where they’d usually sit when the room grew intimate. “Listen- I’m not _not_ angry with you.” He closed the space between them, holding him close. “But that’s a problem for the well-rested versions of us.” 

“It broke me to think that of you… but it seemed like a nightmare fit for them to throw at me.” Crypto buried his head into Elliotts shoulder.

“I don’t want to talk about ~’ _them’~_ anymore, Cr-uh Park.” His warm hands trailed up his back and settled on the back of his head, “just wanna talk to you”

“To me?” 

“You’re the only one here, Park.” 

“You keep calling me that.” 

“It’s. Uh you-your name…right?”

“It’s my last name.” 

“Oh… well I _would_ be embarrassed but you had me moaning out ‘Crypto’ for like a month so… anything’s an improvement.” 

“Can you… call me…”

“TaeJoon?”

His shoulders dropped at the last syllable. He nestled further into Elliott’s collarbone. A name. He’d given Elliott a name. And to hear him give it back? He was floating. 

“I don’t want to make this weird but, you look really good in glasses.”

Crypto backed up and was visibly confused, looking through his brows waiting for his inevitable explanation.

“From y-your mugshot…?” Truth be told, Crypto wished he could bottle the shade of red Elliott turned in that moment. “Y-uhhh yep! nevermind- wrong time, bad timing.”

“Elliott. It’s important that you keep calling me Crypto. Or any one of your asinine nicknames.” Crypto let himself cup Elliott’s jaw then. Just to feel it. “In public.”

Elliott’s head shook the smallest bit, and he looked confused. “Oh.”

Crypto realized something just then and inched back away, “assuming… you still want to see me in private?” 

“Yes! To-to both, yeah codenames are cool with me. You know I asked Makoa what his real name was on like three separate occasions? Just _try_ to get me to stop saying your dumb callsign.” 

“I’m not hearing this from ‘Mirage’.” Crypto smiled back warmly, his first in days.

“Oh-okay smart guy…” Elliott nodded and stalled as he tried to think up a comeback and Crypto just kept smiling. “I’ll have you know plenty of people think it’s a hot name-”

He leaned forward to place a sweet kiss on Elliott’s lips. 

“I’m serious. I’m putting you in danger.” He said

“Yeah, I’ll say.” Elliott tilted his head up and kissed him roughly, urgently. 

“Could you please-” he tried to continue but was interrupted by Mirage’s lips on his “take this seriously?” He said, kissing back.

“I’ll take you anyway you like!” Elliott chuckled at himself finding his own quips utterly delightful.

The hacker shook his head, falling out of the spell he was under, “I’m not joking.”

“And I’m fighting my nerves with humor and sex appeal.” Elliott pulled away and held cryptos face in that gentle, steady grip. “Normal Tuesday for both of us.” Elliott smiled wide, but it wasn’t genuine. 

He continued. “Listen. Big speeches aren’t my forte. Small speeches also suck, and I’m not so good at honesty all the time. And I can, on occasion, be selfish… where was I?” He squinted and looked around, “Oh yeah- if you’ll let me… I _will_ protect you. From anything. Hitmen. Getting the straw in your juice box first try. Boom, easy!” 

Crypto managed to chuckle and hung his head low. “Can we lay down? M-my side…” Crypto sighed. The wound was throbbing with the increase in his pulse. 

“Would you believe I forgot?” Elliott immediately backed away and helped Crypto to the edge of his bed. 

“I would believe that, yes.” He said snarkily. 

“Oof, ouch, yowie.” Elliott pretended to be hurt, he doted on the hacker as best he could, even going as far as to tuck him in. “Tough patient.” 

Elliott dimmed the lights and dressed to go to sleep. Crypto watched the entire time, he needed the distraction, he was finding it uncomfortable laying on his back and straight as a board. When Elliott sat on the far end of the mattress, he sighed. 

He spoke out loud in the dark, “TaeJoon, I don’t know what we are.” He shook his head, silhouetted by the city glow outside his window. “It doesn’t feel right to me to tell you what to do. Or what not to do.” He curled forwards to lean his elbows in his knees. “But if you are running around and killing syndicate cronies… I need you to be safer.” 

“This was an outlier” crypto softly responded. He was too distracted by the ‘what we are’ comment. 

“I don’t know if I could take it if they got you.” Elliot shrugged, and his voice sounded more grounded, like he had been contemplating this for a long time. “And I definitely know I couldn’t break off this connection we have. Even if I tried.” 

“Elliott…” Crypto had already treaded the waters of letting Elliott go, and he drowned in it. 

“I’m not the one people rely on a lot.” He rubbed his face and let his hands cover it, “but I’ll try my best for you. Even if we’re just y’know friends with benefits? Rivals with perks. Whatever you wanna call it.” He shook his head. 

“Whatever keeps you alive.” Elliott finally turned to the hacker and smiled as much as his exhausted face would allow. If only he could respond. All he did was let the gratefulness flood his features. He pulled the comforter back and patted the empty space. 

Elliott inched over, carefully not allowing the bed to move too much. Once they were side by side, Elliott used his shoulder as a pillow, and eventually clung to hacker’s ribs. He always sighs so sweetly when he was falling asleep, Crypto thought.


	5. Dawning

Crypto woke with a start. He heard a noise outside of the bedroom. Assuming the worst he turned to … not find Elliott beside him. He whipped his head around the room and scoffed at himself when he heard a muffled cursing from the kitchen. “Damnit! Stay in the bowl!” 

With far more ease than the previous days, Crypto got himself standing. Actually feeling rested can do wonders. He hobbled slowly and quietly to the kitchen door and pressed his ear to it. 

He heard Elliott. Just being himself. He hummed to a song, woefully out of key but spirited and happy. He heard various pots pans and utensils being used, the sizzle of a hot cooking surface. He heard Elliott talking to the cookware. Threatening more like. 

“Listen, ya stupid stove. I know you like to run hot. So do I. If you burn my breakfast again I am using the microwave exclusively and tossing you in the alley. We clear? Good.” 

Crypto rolled his eyes. Damnit. Elliott was so… very Elliott. And that thought alone made his cheeks turn pink. 

He cleared his throat and pushed the door open. That caused Elliott to abruptly fumble the melody to his song, and to turn around fast. 

“Oh! Mornin’ TaeJoon.” He said smiling warmly. 

Crypto was frozen by that simple name, inside and out. 

“Okay… you just went all deer in headlights…” Elliott’s eyes went wide and he looked back to his recipe. “I can sick with Crypt-“

“No.” The hacker closed his eyes and counted to 5. “Keep saying it. I just have to...recalibrate.” 

“M’kay, weirdo!” Elliott shrugged, “will you eat these pancakes if I make em, TaeJoon?” 

“Yes.” He said stoically, he walked up behind Elliott, who was busying himself with some apparently top secret pancake tactic. 

Crypto’s hands were on his back faster than he could think to stop himself. He smoothed over Elliott’s loose wrinkled shirt, craving and relieving the urge to just touch him. He wanted more. He stepped closer and pressed his chest to Elliott’s back. He put his head on his shoulder and just stayed. 

“Uhhh… T-taeJoon?” He sounded scared and elated at the same time. “You okay?” 

Crypto pressed a kiss the the back of his neck. He saw the goosebumps roll over the skin there.

“Okay you’re  _ not _ okay, got it.” Elliott giggled, honestly giggled.

“<<You’re right. I’m in danger>>” Crypto mumbled. He brought his arms up, just to place them on Elliott’s waist. He sighed again, and watched gooseflesh bloom again. 

“Okay I’m going to have to stop you there,” Elliott braced himself against the counter, leaning over his ingredients. “If you keep doing this I’m gonna have to take you in that bedroom and-”

“Oh. I… I… am still too hurt,” Crypto warned, tragically he was being truthful. “I didn’t mean to work you up.” 

“Oof, you can’t shoot me down when I’m shooting you down!” He continued with the batter set before him. They both laughed. 

Crypto walked away and directly to the coffee pot. He poured himself a mug. He sat in the little dining nook to watch Elliott work.

“If you’re… if you need  _ help _ , why don’t you call Lifeline?” Crypto offered. Seemed fair enough. 

“Ehh, she’s kinda the one who calls me… think she’d be mad?” He pondered. 

“I doubt it. Don’t you see the way she looks at you?”Crypto asked incredulously.

“Uhhhh no?? Is this the sign to get glasses? How-how does she look at me??” He was taken aback. 

Crypto laughed, “Witt, I think she might find you attractive. Charming, even.” He nodded exaggerating the goofiness of the question. 

“Oh god! I haven’t seen- Does she really?” He asked while whisking the batter in a frenzy.

“Relax, Witt. I’m sure it would be the same as always.” He said laughing. “It’s just stress relief, right?”

Elliott stopped whisking and looked at the counter in front of him. He looked around like he was puzzling something out. “I can’t explain why… but…” he set the utensils down and turned to face his guest. “It feels weird.”

“What does?” 

“To try to get with her.” He said sternly. Suddenly his head fell back with a pained look on his features, his shoulders slumped down, and he whined out loud. “Oh nooooooo…!”

“What?!” 

“Oh no. I think I like you.” He said cursing under his breath. “Shit. Probably shouldn’t have said it out loud either but if I’m arriving at this conclusion, I’m not doing it alone. Fuck.” He folded his arms, like he was annoyed at best. 

Crypto took all of his strength not to laugh at him. This display was so childish and so impulsive. It was  _ so Elliott _ . “What are you talking about, Witt?” Surely he was being hyperbolic, he definitely was just feeling fleeting thoughts of the caretaker-patient dynamic.

“Yeah. Damnit. I knew I couldn’t pull this kind of thing off!” He shook his head and stood, arms on his hips. “TaeJoon Park. I like you.” 

Nothing could prepare Crypto for the feeling that jolted his heart. He sat watching Elliott as he waited for a response, with electricity and ice in his veins. He let his mouth uselessly carp open and shut. 

“Do you think you feel anything like that towards me?” Elliott coached. “Alright-Obviously I’m hoping for a specific answer but like- be  _ honest _ .” He took a step forward “How do you feel about me.” 

Panic. 

Crypto managed to whisper a weak “Elliott…” and back to more non-words. 

“TaeJoon…” he mocked breathily. He was right in front of him now. He sat on the edge of the small kitchen table and leaned down. “You seriously can’t even say anything? Aren’t you a genius or something?”

“With computers, Witt!” Crypto never noticed his voice could sound quite this squeaky and unsure.

“Okay then pretend I’m a computer. Say ‘I like you, computer!’ Or ‘shut up computer! Go away forever I hate you’.” Elliott laughed at his own antics. 

“I don’t  _ talk _ to computers, Elliott-”

“Objection, avoiding the question, Mr. Park.” Elliott cupped Crypto’s jaw, thumbing along the seam where synth flesh met skin. “Listen, say it back. Don’t say it back. Say something!” 

“I need to think about it!” Crypto yelled. He typically does so well under pressure. But this was out of his realm. Chronically single since even before relationships and feelings were dangerous. He was having a difficult time remembering how to speak. And a harder time deciding if he should speak. “I don’t want to say the wrong thing.” 

“Why?” Elliott shifted to kneel in front of him. “You think I’ll kick you to the curb?” 

Crypto’s pressed together lips answered that one for him. 

“Didn’t I just say last night that I can’t break  _ this _ off no matter what?” He gestured between himself and the hacker. “I’ve tried but I think I’m way too in now.” 

“Witt that… What if I don’t like you?” He said, scared, sweat beading in his forehead. Elliott just smiled warmly at him. “Or worse. What if I… what if I do?” Crypto said that in a whisper. He shook his head out of pure loss of thought. 

“Alright calm down- if I know you. And I do. You’re plotting escape routes AND the seating chart for the wedding- so just calm down.” 

He was right. Both of the directions he was being pulled in had jumped not far off from his suggestions. But crypto would go to his grave never admitting that. 

“Just wanted to know if you felt the same. And now I know.” 

“...And  _ how _ do I feel?” Crypto said in disbelief.

Elliott simply pulled him into a kiss. A sweet and simple one. Which Crypto melted into entirely. The tension fled his shoulders and he gingerly held Elliott’s face in his hands. 

“Haha. You like me, Kid!” Elliott whispered back with a broad, proud smile on his face. And that smile dropped fast, “No!!! my fucking pancakes!!!” 

In a flash, Elliott was back at his station flipping two onyx pastries into the trash, grumbling the entire time. Crypto watched this entire display with his mouth hung open, eyes wide. He watched Elliott, and the second Elliott realized he was in focus, he sent a wink and a smile over. Crypto blushed. 

He did have feelings. So many of them in fact his heart began to burst. He clenched his jaw, balled his fists, and set the man in his sights. 

He started his confession, tensely, “Elliot Witt, I-” 

“Hold up right there.” The man turned and giggled. “I don’t want you to force yourself to say it!” At the risk of ruining breakfast He returned to his place kneeling in front of the hacker, “just say it the next time you  _ feel _ it, okay? No pressure, I know this is weird.” He squeezed up along Cryptos forearms, and stood. 

Crypto sat in silence. Everything he’d done for the last two years had been carefully calculated, executed only after it was assured to succeed. Being told to “say it when you feel it” felt like a short circuit in his systems. He, of course, recalled all of the times Elliott made his heart flutter. Has he always mistakenly categorized those as ‘danger’? He’d been so deep in thought that when a fully finished breakfast plate slid in front of him, he winced slightly. 

“Jeez, you okay?!” Elliott asked, “Maybe I fucked up…”

Crypto quickly looked him in the eye, “You’re the only one I trust.” He started without thinking. Funny how Elliott gets him to do that every time. “You took care of me and don’t expect anything in return. I think about you constantly-even when I don’t want to- especially when I don’t want to. I n-” he gulped roughly, “ I need you more than you know.” His hands were clenched into fists on the table top, he never broke eye contact with the trickster. “But I can’t be in a relationship. My priority is Mila. And my innocence. If you get taken-or- or killed because of my feelings, because of our… whatever… Elliott, I’d be broken, I’d fail. I’d die.” He let the tears well in his eyes. 

Elliott’s face was washed in a pink blush. He sat staring forward with his eyes wide. And he broke into the most beautiful smile Crypto has ever seen. “You sure ‘romance’ isn’t your thing?” He chided. “Cause that was romantic as hell.” 

“Witt.” Crypto was at a loss. Even with his fears on the table between them, Elliott didn’t seem bothered. 

“I’m hearing that you’re really feeling guilty about having a heart inside that cold exterior of yours. Look, you can either punish yourself by not accepting that you wanna be with me OR you can accept the ultimate punishment: being with me!” Elliott took his hands and unfolded each finger manually. He brought them to his lips to press a kiss to each knuckle, “seriously I’m the worst, ask my exes! I cook” a kiss, “I clean” another kiss, “I sing in the shower” another, “absolutely guaranteed to drive you up a wall.” 

Crypto was stunned into silence. Was this idiot always so observant? His hands tingle from the contact, he wanted to savor it. 

“And,TaeJoon, I would never stand in the way of getting closure for your family. I … would e-even help, if you’d let me.” 

More silence.

“Okay, baby steps. How about having breakfast with me?” He pushed the plate he’d set down to Crypto and took to his own silverware. He smiled warmly to the man and dug in. Crypto nodded. He took a bite. 

“S’Delicious.” He murmured. 

“Thanks, babe.” Elliott responded dryly, joking.   


And of course Crypto laughed.


	6. Reversal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> thanks for going on this journey with me!! one more soft chapter for you all. thank you so much for the support ;0;

Today was a Game day. And Crypto woke up with a disappointment he couldn’t shake. Sure he didn’t live for the thrill of competing like Elliott, or Octane- but to deny that he loved the challenge? That would be a lie. The in-the-moment plans murmured amongst a huddled squad, the execution, and sometimes the daring rescues- Crypto was forced to admit he loved it. Living in real and constant danger sort of changed his base level of what he’d call relaxation- the Games were a nice way to get perspective in his odd torn apart life. 

Having to sit this game out was upsetting. But the decision was easy though, with Elliott asking him, begging him to stay home and heal more. He whispered those words into Crypto’s ear early in the morning, giving the trickster an unfair advantage with that gruff sleep-tinged voice. He silently nodded to Elliott, agreeing that competing would be stupid. 

And with that the engineer was “up-and-att’em” leaving their warm bed to shower and depart for the Arena. 

Crypto woke several hours later, grateful for the extra sleep. He took a groggy shower, not all there. His side was rapidly feeling better but he was stiff, we wanted desperately to stretch out and twist his waist. He left the warmth of the shower and dressed in anything of Elliott’s that would fit him. 

They weren’t that different in size, but each and every piece of clothing in Elliott’s possession seemed to drape his frame. He settled on, embarrassingly, Mirage merchandise- a yellow silhouette on a white shirt, and of course a big “bamboozle” right across the chest. He smiled and blushed at his reflection and thought of the things Elliott would say once he saw him coming home from the game. He could hardly wait, but he took a second and calmed himself. Being “giddy” didn’t suit him, he thought. 

He’d been at Elliott’s about 10 days, but only properly conscious for 5. Still he’d made himself comfortable with making coffee, fetching food from Elliott’s well stocked fridge, borrowing things he needed as he needed them. He had rarely stayed in one place this long that wasn’t thoroughly fortified. He was constantly listening for noises outside, and glancing out the windows to see anything suspicious - only when Elliott wasn’t there to see him do it. 

He used to make fun of the hacker for this sort of behavior- paranoia. But after learning why, he no longer thought it was funny. Instead, now, if Elliott caught him checking his perimeters, he had taken to sliding his and on the small of his back, and being a second set of eyes or ears. Crypto tried to say he didn’t need to do these things, but on the edge of saying so, he never could get the words out. He wanted these things done for him-  _ with _ him. He’d been alone so long. 

He had nothing to do here at Elliott’s either so he just took to thinking about him. He, for a few moments, tried to use the trickster's computer, and after finding it absolutely riddled with suspicious bugs and obvious backdoors he simply shut the thing and walked away, laughing. The little workshop on this apartment was well-kitted, anything the man might need for his holotech was provided. Crypto poked around at the tools and bins along the walls, but eventually thought it might upset Elliott’s strange organizational methods. 

So he toured the living room instead. He walked slowly surveying the shelves lining the holovision. There were some books and a lot of publications about the games and Mirage specifically-but mainly photo albums. Elliott’s family’s personal collection of memories. Crypto wondered if it would be overstepping to look through them. A warmth bloomed in his heart thinking of Elliott sitting close and going through them together. 

Would he even do that? Crypto took a step back, he had recalled Elliott talking about his mother. Two completely different versions of her presented through articles and Elliott’s testimonies. Crypto knew of her work and her brilliant mind through scientific studies and articles. Elliott passed bits of detail mainly by accident alluding to her being distant or unwell. He honestly wasn’t sure if it was an unknown illness or simply a sour relationship. Guiltily, Crypto knew he frequently spoke with someone on the phone all the time- after accidentally eavesdropping more than a few times over the year. He surprisingly was just not very open about her. 

Crypto sighed and looked over more of the shelves, to find a simple picture frame, and there she was, and there he was, years and years ago. Looking happy enough. Crypto wanted answers but he shook off his curiosity. It felt wrong to snoop, when he simply could ask. He placed the frame back down decisively- and with more gusto than he meant. The back of the frame popped open and the picture fell out. 

In fact several fell out. 

There were a few small polaroids and a larger photo folded over. As much as he fought himself the urge was too great. He unfolded the photo and stared. 

The photo dripped with the feelings of a lovely summer memory. Crypto was possessed by a nostalgia that wasn’t his. A youthful Elliott sat on a dock somewhere, a beautiful woman wrapping him in a towel. Several young boys older than Elliott were dotted around the little shore. One was hopelessly sunburnt, another seemed entirely annoyed at the idea of a photo, and the last pointed some finger guns at the camera. 

For a second. Just a second. A vision of fully grown Elliott surrounded by decoys flashed in Crypto’s mind. He turned the photo over, “Ellie’s 11th Birthday At The Lake!” written in a pretty, delicate script. The ink had bloomed and bled in places from tiny …”water” drops, long since dried.

Crypto was overcome with a thick cold guilt, it settled on his shoulders as he hid the photo back into the back of the frame. He made sure it looked just as it did before he intruded. He sat himself on the couch and found a comfortable position to watch the holovision broadcast. Oh, the Game was live, he thought numbly. 

He watched a squad climb the ranks with an odd distance between his thoughts. He was back on the dock in that memory before long. He wished he never saw that photo. Mirage appeared in the screen, sniping from a tall building, cheeks tinged with red from the cold. When he noticed the camera, he smiled wide, and winked, “This ones for all you sweet things sitting at home and watching me~!” He blew a kiss into the lens and took his shot- whooping like he wasn’t sure he’d make his target. Crypto chuckled, knowing that was for him. It really added to his guilt. He watched the rest of the match, only lighting up once Elliott or Ajay graced the screen.

Neither won, but both fought impressively. Crypto let the after show play low in the background while he fought the urge to research more about Elliott on that cursed laptop. He succeeded in that endeavor at least. 

He’d heard the jingle of keys outside the door. And he stood up, on edge. Elliott spoke through the door, as of sensing the hackers’ skin bristleing, “Hey hey! It’s ya boi! Mirage!” Playful and sweet and cocky and sleepy. Crypto did relax a little. He finally got the door open and smiled so warmly upon seeing his guest. 

“I’m ho- OH MY GOD.” Mirage barked, excitedly.

“W-What?!” Crypto retorted, feeling strangely defensive. 

“You’re wearing my MERCH!” Elliott barely swung the door shut, tossed his dufflebag to the floor and nearly pounced on Crypto. He slid his hands around his waist and to the back of his neck- he demanded Crypto’s lips. He kissed him so deeply that the hacker was stunned. “You- that’s- that’s the cutest thing I’ve ever- you’re so CUTE.” He said peppering kisses to Cryptos lips. “TaeJoon kiss me back this instant.” He scolded, playfully. 

“Y-yeah” Crypto did as he was told. It was too easy for him to match Elliott’s intensity. He let himself be backed into the couch’s high back, Elliott leaned further to threaten his balance and deepen their kiss.

“Elliott <<what the hell>> did you even lock the door?” Crypto’s shock was evident through his voice.

He laughed a little “Yes, but m-maybe not. Hold on” he pulled away and, looked around - playfully exaggerated and clicked the lock closed. “There, yes I did!” He closed in on Crypto again but was stopped with a hand on his chest. Crypto pushed him back, “I can see you’re still running on adrenaline.” 

“Ah so-ro- sorry, was I being too rough?” He tilted his head to the side, worrying. He slipped his hands to lift Crypto’s shirt and take a look at his wound. The hacker stopped him from doing so, though. 

“<<No>> i'm just… not quite as energetic.” Crypto backed away, but placed a small kiss on Elliott’s lips as a condolence. In reality he was guilty and not entirely sure he deserved a greeting this nice. 

“Aw, did you only have 12 cups of coffee instead of 34?” Elliott wrinkled his nose with a smirk, “poor decaffeinated TaeJoon!”

He wanted to laugh- it was an honest dig. “Elliott I have something to ask you.” He breathed, swiping hair from the tricksters eyes. 

“Uh oh. Y-you got all serious- I’m sorry I guess I read the wrong room- uh- read the room wrong-“ Elliot bubbled with panic. 

“Can we sit.” He was all nerves.  _ Calm down _ , he begged himself. 

Elliott was uncharacteristically quiet as thy both slipped around the couch to sit on it proper. His lip was already being chewed absentmindedly. Crypto cleared is throat. 

“For the first time… you know more about me than I know about you.” He dropped his shoulders. He squared Elliott’s eyes with his. “Until now- I’m sorry. I did some snooping.” He stood and retrieved the photograph. 

“You did?” Elliott said, sort of blankly. “You coul-“ he swallowed in the middle of his words, “you could have asked… or waited for me. I… ” he sounded bitter. Crypto feared this reaction. He handed Elliott the frame and it burst open in his hands. There really were so many pictures hidden there. Elliott’s eyes widened, and darted away from the sight. 

“I don’t mean… to intrude but… it came apart in my hands and I couldn’t stop. I’m sorry Elliott.” He stopped trying to make eye contact, he just squeezed Elliott’s bicep in what he hoped was reassurance. “We all deserve to keep some secrets.”

“I don’t…uh.. ” Elliott shook his head, his trembling hands to place the photos on the coffee table in front of them. “I don’t want these to be a secret. It’s… they’re my family- yknow?” He pinched the bridge of his nose, “I don’t hide these cause I want to forget… it’s more that I don’t want to remember. And remember. And remember…” his hand repeatedly sliced the air to punctuate the end of those sentences. 

Crypto’s heart ached. He single handedly extinguished all the fire Elliott had arrived home with. He regretted it. “I’m sorry, we don’t have to.” He chanced holding Elliott’s open palm, lacing his modified fingers through the flesh ones. “<<I’m sorry>>” he whispered again. 

They sat like that for a couple of minutes, both of them inching towards each other little by little. As if neither wanted to admit that they both craved being held. Elliott shifted to stand up, squeezing Crypto’s hand and letting it fall free. 

“I’m gonna shower- and try to uh… like get it together.” He gestured towards his red eyes. “I’m stealing your move, where you threw a laptop at me. Just… “ he took a step and plucked a photo album off the shelf, a thin one. “Do some light reading. I’ll be back out. When I’m ready.” 

———

It took around half an hour. Crypto had already devoured every handwritten word on the photos, in the book, any note scrawled in the margins and each wrinkle in the worn corners. 

Unceremonious as it was, Crypto was allowed to meet Evelyn, Elliott, Emmet, Rorke, and Thomas. He watched them each grow, from diapers to flightsuits. The album stopped at Elliott’s 21st birthday- and the backdrop of the Paradise Lounge burned brightly. Each of his brothers stood in a line, wearing rebel fatigues, holding up Elliott horizontally. Every one of their faces was happy. 

Elliott’s life, when framed in between the covers of this book, seemed like a warm and welcoming and beautiful one. Crypto saw more genuine smiles in the faded photos than he had on Elliott, making his mind absolutely race. He’d felt almost jealous but reminded himself that these golden moments had greyed in Elliott’s heart, something horrible was hidden there. Just beyond the last page. He felt something hollow in his gut. 

He and Mila were far from this level of picture-perfect domestic family, but his thoughts of their struggling lives meant everything to him. If he had a photo album, any physical shred of her, he absolutely would have hidden it away to keep the pain at bay. 

In the way that only Elliott could manage, Crypto was surprised by him entirely. They were living these twisting mirrored lives of each other. As opposing as they were, there were similarities that were too large to ignore; finding Elliott in the chaos of becoming Crypto was miraculous.

The bedroom door creaked open, and a sheepish Elliott wondered back into the room. He silently took Crypto’s hands and sat next to him on the couch. His curls were wet with some flowery sweet smelling product. And his cologne clung to his collarbones. Crypto twisted to him, embracing him tightly. They both stayed quiet while slowly squeezing each other tighter and tighter. Crypto knew that Elliott was waiting for questions, and he held him like he wished they could melt together and share his memories instead of speaking them. There’s a deep breath in Elliott’s chest that comes out staggered. 

“TaeJoon…” he murmured against his neck. 

“I’m curious about some details. But you don't have to share if you don’t want to.” He warned. He wanted to move past this already, he wanted to know what was broken so he could find the tools to help fix it. Pragmatic as always. He placed a kiss on Elliott’s neck as a quiet promise that he could wait. 

“My brothers went to fight in the war.” He said quietly, “Didn’t come back. I bu- we buried some of their junk in a family plot. Up by the lakehouse.” He dropped a heavy finger on that photo of them on a dock.

“My mom… she’s here still. But not always. She has these episodes.” He pulled away from Crypto’s touch to perch over his knees. He laced his fingers together and looked sternly down. “They don’t know what to call it. It’s not consistent enough to be Dementia. It’s just, like, she's dropped somewhere in her past. Sometimes I’m in college, sometimes I’m not born yet. She asks about them. When she asks about my old man, I know it’s a bad one. But th-then she knows everything some days. Up until what she had for breakfast that morning.” He smiles, a pale impression of the photos. 

“I call her every day that I can. I’m sure you’ve noticed me slipping away sometimes.” He finally made contact with Crypto. “Just… to see how she is.  _ When _ she is.”

He stopped freely giving information, Crypto didn’t push either. He only brought Elliott’s hands to his mouth. He kissed his palm, and coaxed Elliott’s arms to wrap around his neck. He pulled Elliott close, leaning back. Crypto laid back on the arm of the couch, gathering Elliott on top of his chest. He just wanted to hold him. As selfish as that was he didn’t know how else to communicate his support, his sorrow, his love.

_Oh. ‘Love’…_ he drifted from that thought. 

Crypto had half expected Elliott to be in tears, but he wasn’t. He supposed that these wounds were old, scarred over- time and time again. Elliott sighed allowing himself to be held was enough for them both. 

For a few moments Crypto debated saying something. Knowing any small comforts would fall flat. He didn’t know what to say, and frankly he was still waiting to be told something that would actually help. If he’d lost Mila three times over, not to mention Mystik, what could anyone possibly offer him? At least Crypto had something to fight against, a target, and some hope. What did Elliot have? 

He had Crypto. 

A sad condolence gift; one broken heart for another. 

He let out a humorless laugh at himself,  _ So dramatic _ , and realized that Elliott had fallen asleep on his chest. He ran his hands through his hair, loving the smell it released in the air between them. He breathed deeply and scratched at the shaved scalp, listening to Elliott breathe. 

He recalled just a few days ago, when Elliott promised to help bear Crypto’s burdens, to help him any way he could. He promised it back in his mind and in his heart. Being there for Elliott was something he could do. 

A small squeeze of his arm let Crypto know that Elliott had stirred slightly. He tilted his head up, eyes still closed, he smiled at Crypto. 

“<< _Hey_ >>, Elliott?”

“Mmhmm?” He said snuggling his face further to Crypto’s chest.

“I like you.” He said, gently, softly.

“I know, baby.” Even in his sleep he could smile cockily.

“Go back to sleep, << _jerk_ >>.” He playfully dismissive.

“Okay, baby.” And he slipped off. 

Crypto smiled, and made himself comfortable. Easy to find sleep with Elliott on him, with him. There. _Here_.


End file.
